I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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