And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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