you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
