Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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