they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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