I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
