Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize