First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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