He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
smell my finger.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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