I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
