im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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