As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you win again, gameday.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
