So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
