Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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