I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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