On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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