No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
