Having a random hookup so left but love u
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
