if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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