At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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