Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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