Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
