I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
