he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize