It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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