It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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