maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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