Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
