I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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