If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
