this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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