Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
