so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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