I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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