Where is the hickey?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
