If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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