3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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