just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
