she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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