I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
