i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
