Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
false alarm, still single
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
