She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
