VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
