Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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