Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
