My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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