we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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