Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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