if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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