well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
this will be a night to untag.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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