East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Pooping to opera.
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