I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
